Now, how am I going to approach this and not sound anti-German? Was I happy that they lost to Spain? Yes. Did they deserve to? Yes. Did I wish for a hammering so severe that it would set the German game back ten years? Maybe.
But, this isn't about my personal feelings about the German national side (note 'national': I actually love the Bundesliga for it's strong grip on football ethics, as well as my brilliant experiences at the 2006 World Cup) - it's bigger than that.
Since seeing how Milan took Barca apart in the 1994 European Cup final, I have been able to distinguish the football I like, from the football that leaves me totally engrossed. Yes, it's the type of football that creates it's own ode to that one technical aspect of the game that renders England useless: the pass.
To give credit where it's due, Germany this summer have passed the ball beautifully, and you can see the melting pot of German football at work there (they keep this up, 2012 will be lop-sided). But they have relied far too much on their ability to counter-attack, just like Spain rely far too much on their passing ideology. Both need to use, and I hate these words I'm about to type, a 'Plan B'. I'm not sure if the German's had one, apart from sticking Gomez on and hoping for something to go in off him, but Spain have Llorente, Navas, Fabregas and Mata on the bench - all players that can be the 'Plan B', if only used.
Instead, Spain's came in the form of the beautifully wonderous image of Puyol connecting that header on the run (how good do those feel? Side issue - what's better, that or connecting with a volley?). That mental picture is up there with Ruud, when he scored that magnificent header in the European Championships.
Was it sweeter against the Germans? Of course. But, I would have celebrated a lot more if it wasn't for my German friend calling me just before the game, from a heaving German bar in London. Boy, that singing was inspiring, and even snatched some grudging respect out of me. Never again, mind you.
But then I hear all this bollocks about something called 'ticky tacky' football. Isn't this the same term I've heard as a kid meaning 'shoddy'? How, exactly, is that related to Spanish football?
Delving into this a little deeper, it seems that the argument can be boiled down to two Tweets. The first, from Hip Hop Connection:
"Lordy, Spain's touchy-feely approach is sleep-inducing. Worse than Arsenal."
The opposing, from Honigstein himself:
"Spain absolutely brilliant in midfield, a pleasure to watch. If you find that boring, you don't understand football."
Now, I'm not going to be entirely as childish as Honigstein, but I do agree. Yes, Spain need to be more incisive sooner, but f**k ticky tacky, really? So I'm guessing that that Brazil goal and that Argentinian goal were both born out of a rubbish style of football? If you change your mind, don't be ashamed - I used to think that Thomas Brolin was footballing great.
I just hope that the same people that say the Spanish are boring, aren't the same people moaning about England not being able to keep the ball. I think the best argument you can get against their style of Coldplay Football is in this article, but that fact is that I happen to not mind Coldplay. So there.
Another quick point, why is David Silva not being picked to start? Does anybody know? I honestly think he's on the same level as Pedro, if a little less selfish. All I'm saying is, if I was a Man City fan, I'd be raising the same question.
Anyway, in a semi-final where it was nice to see all of the starting twenty two players playing in their own nation's domestic league (including Toni Kroos, who's a cert for a speaking role in the next season of the O.C.), I think that Germany looked a lot more threatening. Even if it was on the break. But their major problem was losing the ball too quickly after gaining possession. Not a major no-no against most sides, but this is Spain - they really should have known better.
Play On, Playa.
During one of the heavy texting sessions I like to conduct throughout a game nowadays, I picked the brains of me colleagues on their favourite player at the moment. It being the World Cup an all, I can see why most opted for players in this particular tournament. The survey says:
David Villa: For being one the few players that has lived up to his billing this summer, even though he can't do a decent defender in a one-on-one situation.
Van Bommel: He gets the job done. Imagine having your career summarised in such a succinct way. Is this another way of saying he's looks pretty rubbish, but still gets picked by strong European teams?
Gyan: For his Eto'o-esque work rate, his big balls on taking that penalty in the shoot out, and for the fact that he has a kind face.
The Pig Climber: For keeping the ball like nobody else can, and for fooling us all into thinking he was a mid-level winger all this time - one that, if he came to England, would probably come to someone like Chelsea, have an average season, and then move to Everton and become the new Arteta.
Crissy Ronaldo: For his arrogant tricks and imaginative ways of naming his first born. Oh, and he can head a ball.
Ian Esta: Adaptable, and effortlessly brilliant at it.
Messi: Best player of our lifetime, and we get the privilege of seeing how he goes about it. Not a bad shout, really.
Or does it go to The Other Diego (you know, Forlan)? Not only has he proved his worth (to us Englanders), but I think he might just edge it with his Tweets giving us a very un-England insight into the Uruguay camp during this summer - including team BBQ's, table tennis competitions, and general boozed-upness. Bored my arse.
Non-Football Giggles.
I'm a bit of a headline follower, and these are just two that I got my rocks off to recently. I know, nothing to do with the football whatsoever - but I can't bring myself to talk about how Borja Valero has somehow become a rising star in Spanish football. So, to my first masterpiece:
Who doesn't have a local rapist? I see mine come into the shop every Tuesday to get his Happy Shopper orange juice and scotch egg - and he seems happy as pie at the moment. Business must be good. Also, the beady-eyed amongst you may have spotted the bottom-right story, which I think is worth the 68p itself.
And for my encore:
No doubt this has been viewed by many of you, but have you thought just how well matched the headline is with Moat's dead kid eyes? It's like he's telling us "I will take steriods, and there's nothing you can do about it." Well, I'm not buying the rumour that the reason he's been playing Rambo up to now, is because of some repressed-ginger anger. Look at how Paul Scholes turned out, so that's no excuse.
Ronaldo v Klose.
So, the squirrel-faced old man looks set on taking the Real Ronaldo's World Cup scoring record hey? Well, a thought to mull over whilst the debate rages on (trust me, it will rage if Klose nabs the record).
Some might say that the image of a fat footballer is the height of arrogance, and this may be true in Ronnie's case. Yes, he was arrogant throughout his career, and Klose has built a reputation for being a team player. But, when you think of the young lads playing football on the local wreck or playground, do you seriously want them to be shouting "baggsy Klose"?
They are young and carefree, so the hero these lads need isn't going to come from a player who has notched up just three years of European-class club football (his Werder days aren't going to launch him into any history books outside of Bremen).
What they need is exactly that type of arrogance that comes with proving yourself on every stage of football (okay, bar the Champions League...but I didn't say Ronaldo was better than Zizou). I think we all know that when we look on our own football stories in the nursing home, we'll be discussing Ronaldo quotes like "I don't run, I score goals" rather than a player, when he retires, will be as dull as Boring, Boring Bergkamp.
Ah, so this also leads us to the off-shoot debate: does having an average club career but a superb international career make you world class? And if it does, do we need to re-align our Five Mics policy - or is football going to end up like Source magazine?
Back To The Future.
I already have a faint idea that what I'm about to say may strike many people as a waste of time, and have them questioning just why on Earth I'd put this shit on my blog.
Well, to those guys - I apologise. Now f**k off suit, as it is my blog and I'm coming on all Billy Walsh.
Since I've been feeling good about footy again (we have an 'on-and-off' relationship, but we're working on it) due to the distinct smell of a World Cup in the Langold air, I've decided to brush off my Xbox 360 pad (literally) and get back 'in to' footy games. So I slang in the FIFA 09 disc and settle down with me little bro to do battle (yes, that's how we get down in Thandi House, forget any pussy-footing around).
My droning on about how football games felt so much better when I was a kid was a load of cods-wallop, and was working more as mind game technique I'd mastered whilst playing the youngsters in my family. That, and the phrases "you're just pressing the same button" and "that would never happen in tennis/football/basketball" are my personal favourites.
Then it hit me.
These youngsters weren't around for the original FIFA game on the Mega Drive. Therefore, they were never around for the 'stand in front of the keeper before he launches it' trick. So simple, yet so beautiful.
A bit like Matt Le Tissier.
And guess what? Yes my loyal readers, I'm chalking it up as a win for the '80's/'90's kids out there. Screw all you fancy game engines, I'm keeping it old skool. Therefore 'real'.
